My name is Loreydean Sullivan.. Upon the urgings of my

You see, I used to be manic-depressive (bipolar). I bounced in and out of psychiatric hospitals for eleven years. I cured myself. I have now been well  and thriving for twenty-three years without drugs. I don't have to take drugs of any kind. Nor do I need psychiatrists.

Getting well began with just one decision. That decision was to be responsible for myself. What also helped was looking at my situation in a new way. I didn't look at  what was wrong with me, I simply put myself in training to cultivate the skills and habits I needed to be my best. If I had believed my psychiatrist (and therapist) that I couldn’t help myself and would be bipolar the rest of my life, I would be dead today, or doing business out of a shopping cart on the streets of Pasadena, California.

GROWING THROUGH ADVERSITY

Depression and suicide are rather normal aspects of being bipolar. It was after eight years of being in and out of psychiatric hospitals that I decided I couldn't continue my life. Every time I would eat right, exercise and start writing I would spiral into a manic phase then become psychotic. (My mother wanted me to trade in my typewriter/computer for a sewing machine. It scared her every time I would start writing.) Then there I was again in the proverbial rubber room being shot up with Haldol to come down from a psychotic high. The great novel I was writing was just so much gibberish. It was a joke. I was a joke.

I finally decided I couldn't continue being a burden to my sons and family. It was after returning to work (having lost my regular position as an executive secretary) I decided I just couldn't continue failing over and over again and again. That evening upon getting home, I wrote suicide notes to my sons and parents. Then I went into the bathroom to swallow the pills from my suicide kit. I put the first stack of pills into my mouth, but before I could swallow the thought occurred to me, "What if being dead is worse than being alive?” I spit out the pills and ran into the living room. I put on my stereo and listened to the music Through the Eyes of Love as I wrote on my typewriter: "Dear God, how can I know you if my brain doesn't work?"  As the music filled the room, it was if my spirit was coming back to me. Then I remembered the words from Proverbs: 3:5-6

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thy own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths.”

I decided that there had to be some great gift in being bipolar and I was going to find it! I had a burning desire to be a blessing to my two sons. They were and are my inspiration. They had already suffered by not having a father around most of their life (since ages four and six and now they were young men).

After that, answers came from everywhere: through writing and using active imagination, from music, from movies, and from random quotes I came across. I read hundreds of books and applied the wisdom I found. Life seemed magical. At the end of the movie, The Martian Chronicles  the Martian said, "Take pleasure in the gift of being." That struck me with such an impact. Yes, I could take pleasure in the gift of being. I learned what caused me to be bipolar and took charge of my life. I became my own coach, cheerleader and created a tremendous inner drive to be a blessing in the world. It was if life had conspired with me to find answers and I did. I became whole and well.  

SUCCESS AT LAST

The real test was when I was asked to write and produce a program for the Health Promotion Council of El Monte/South El Monte.  In the past every time I got started writing for a particular project, I would end up becoming psychotic. This time I was able to write a program and present it without any problem. The Council's Coordinator and I presented the seminar, “How to Take Charge of Your Life and Put a Foundation Under Your Dreams in English and Spanish.  It was a great success. The program was the culmination of what I had learned and used to help myself.

I created this website to share what my journey to be well has taught me. The information and tools here are free.

A better world is possible when people know they count and matter just I learned that I was a valuable human being.

I am hoping that the information will be helpful to anyone that visits this site and is interested in blossoming into the best person they can be.

THE QUOTE THAT EMPOWERED MY JOURNEY

I love this quote by Anais Nin. It literally inspired my life and got me started on my journey.

“When the pain to stay
tight in a bud is more than
the pain it takes to blossom.”


THE POWER OF US

We can be a success on our own, but what difference does it make if the world is falling apart and we don’t care for our world and each other.

What makes the world great is out ability to draw out the genius in each other. A real Camelot is about people knowing that they count and enriching each other by sharing and drawing out the genius in each other.  

A Great Society is what was born with us to be if we allow ourselves to evolve into our own greatness and I intend to help that happen.
 

We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.                          

                                     ~Luciano de Crescenza